My Privilege
A black-haired angel placed you in my arms
She gave you her deep brown eyes and warm brown skin.
Your tiny hand grasped my pale white finger
And your life became my world,
I was blind to the color of the world
Black and white, shadow and light.
Then, coffee meets cream
And suddenly I see.
Suddenly aware that I cannot find
Picture books, movies, toys
That look like you.
Where are your heroes and role models?
Suddenly aware that I am told
Over and over
How much energy you always seem to have.
Why is your energy so much more offensive than others?
Finally aware that my friends
Believe in white perfection.
Not racist
But not aware
Of the white God they worship
Who mocks my child’s skin.
50 years ago, our relationship would endanger your life
100 years ago, our relationship would be illegal
200 years ago, our relationship would be that
Of slave and master.
How do I teach you?
About the brave and beautiful forebearers
Whose bondage built the wealth
And won the freedoms of this country.
How do I teach you?
About the overt racism
And subtle discrimination
That you will face
From now and through the time
Your hand outgrows mine.
How do I teach you?
To respect and love the law
And those who enforce it,
But to properly fear it
So that you will come home every night.
Is it possible for me to take your small, but growing hand
And love you enough to make it okay?
After all, love is the key
To the problems of the world
Let love push out the bitterness I feel
About a past that abused and used you.
Let love push out the guilt I feel
To know I benefit from inequality.
Let love push out the hate I feel
Toward any who would hurt or hate you.
Let love inspire me to speak
To act and to push for change
To live in honor of a dream
That the color of your skin will be a celebration.
That my baby won’t have to fight
To share his passionate heart
And wondrous mind.
That love really can be enough
For that small brown hand
To have a world of dreams in its reach.
Marianne Pence (2018)
